Just a Little Branch

"I am the Vine, you are the branches." John 15:5

'Tis only a little Branch

A thing so fragile and weak,

But that little Branch hath a message true

To give, could it only speak.

"I'm only a little Branch,
I live by a life not mine,
For the sap that flows through my tendrils small
Is the life-blood of the Vine.

"No power indeed have I
The fruit of myself to bear,
But since I'm part of the living Vine,
Its fruitfulness I share.

"Dost thou ask how I abide?
How this life I can maintain?--
I am bound to the Vine by life's strong band,
And I only need remain.

"Where first my life was given,
In the spot where I am set,
Upborne and upheld as the days go by,
By the stem which bears me yet.

"I fear not the days to come,
I dwell not upon the past,
As moment by moment I draw a life,
Which for evermore shall last.

"I bask in the sun's bright beams.
Which with sweetness fills my fruit,
Yet I own not clusters hanging there,
For they all come from the root."

A life which is not my own,
But another's life in me:
This, this is the message the Branch would speak,
A message to thee and me.

Oh, struggle not to "abide,"
Nor labor to "bring forth fruit,"
But let Jesus unite thee to Himself,
As the Vine's Branch to the root.

So simple, so deep, so strong
That union with Him shall be:
His life shall forever replace thine own,
and His love shall flow through thee;

For His Spirit's fruit is love,
And love shall thy life become,
And for evermore on His heart of love
Thy spirit shall have her home.

FREDA HANBURY

I finally found a poem that resonates with the song in my heart when I first started this blog. It's so simple, beautiful, yet in a way, sad. Because I now understand that when I become a little branch in Christ, I have chosen to die of my self, my desires and hopes. I am no longer my own, but I live His life. Yet, deep down inside, my soul finally find rest and a deep, deep joy, because, it knows it has found the right home to belong, a truly safe place to abide--in God's perfect, unfailing love.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

What more can I ask for? If God would die for me. How can I not fall in love with Someone who knows all my imperfections and griefs, and yet love me perfectly, fiercely and eternally. He held nothing back, just to love me, and you. :-)

There are 2 sides to everything

I love sitting on beautiful, warm Turkish carpets. It feels so cosy and safe. Recently, at a gathering, the host drew our attention to the hidden beauty of his Turkish carpet--it was actually stitched in such a way that the underside shows the exact same pattern as the front. It must have been the work of a master carpet weaver!

I also tried a bit of sewing recently. Haha, it was an idea borrowed from a very creative colleague of mine. She sew her name onto her labcoat and added little buttons for the circular letters. One day, I decided to try to emulate, using the little supply of thread and buttons I can scavenge from my long neglected sewing box. Ta Daa!!! With my limited sewing skills, I managed to come up with something that look quite neat (to me).

However when I turn over the pocket, I got quite disgusted by the loose threads, crooked stitches, and ugly knots. I am no naturally talented seamstress afterall.

Actually the sewing reminds me of my own life too. Oftentimes, by my conscientious effort, I can make myself look quite "neat" and presentable to others. I can keep smiling. I can show up and contribute proactively. I can give the right answers and try to sound confident. But would it be a true reflection of who I really am inside? Would anyone realise how much struggle it takes to put on that bright smile even when things are not going well? How inadequate I can actually feel at work or in church, and how many times I needed to cry out to God to help me understand things?

There are always 2 sides to everything, the positive and the negative, the seen and the unseen, the probable and the possible. Even as we try to stay on the bright side, sometimes, we need to acknowledge the darker side too. Perhaps the greater treasure may actually be found in the dark side. Because courage is not about appearing unafraid, but about facing fear, and not backing down. Joy is not about a sorrow-free heart, but the ability to look beyond the present disappointments and see hope in the future. And faith is not having no doubt, but in choosing to trust in God's promises despite many unanswered questions churning in the distressed soul.

When we see a beautiful person, full of compassion and wisdom, do we ever wonder the humbling and refining it takes to cultivate this tender heart and perceptive soul? When we see a lovely relationship, full of submission and tenderness, do we wonder how much sacrifices and forgiveness the couple has poured into each other? Oftentimes, true sweetness can only be tasted after the fruit has been crushed and strained. Can there be beauty without pain? Can peace come without a struggle? Can love blossom without the dying of self?

Yet I believe God is the Divine Repairer of our lives. Even in the midst of broken dreams and failures, He can bring something beautiful out of our lives, if we would surrender the broken pieces to Him. And He is the Master Weaver too, one day, He will turn over the carpet of our lives and show us how every black thread was woven in, so that the bright ones can shine even brighter. And I'm sure, it will be a masterpiece, far better than any imitations I can ever come up with.

If there ever were dreams
That were lofty and noble
They were my dreams at the start
And the hopes for life's best
Were hopes that I harboured
Down deep in my heart

But my dreams turned to ashes
My castles all crumbles
My fortune turned to loss
So I wrapped it all in the rags of my life
And laid it at the cross

Something beautiful, something good;
All my confusion He understood.
All I had to offer Him
Was brokenness and strife,
But He made something beautiful of my life.

Every good and perfect gift is from above

When was the last time you stopped and watched a glorious sunset? Drink in the beautiful hues of gold, rose and violet generously splashed across the cool blue sky, and hold your breath as the stunning rays move across the sky, revealing a dynamic masterpiece of changing patterns that can set your imagination running wild?

Recently, while alighting from the train at the Chinese Garden MRT, I was captivated by the vast canopy of glowing art across the sky as the sun sets at the Jurong Lake, and all I could do was to keep drawing closer to the beautiful view. Quite a couple of people were already clicking away with their cameras and handphones. I had neither, so I could only take mental pictures in my mind. But it was enough for me, the moment of reverence and awe was unforgettable. There were pools of warm gold splattered in the western part, as pink feathery clouds spread their wings across the blue expanse. The light yellow rays radiate like spokes of a bicycle wheel through the pools and pink feathers, creating a unique display of shapes, colours and effects. On the east, there were sweet pink velvety clouds hanging softly on the purplish-blue sky, like the pretty scarves worn by girls on their romantic dates. And as the sun rays receded, the pink turns to a richer orange-red, like the way some of my friends would blush after tasting wine. The warm golden pools changed to layers of deepening orange and red, as if there is a cyclone sucking in the colour and light from the middle. The pink feathers become softer and softer, like a phoenix coming home to rest in its nest after a tired day of flight. And Jurong Lake was illuminated with the changing lights, reflecting the heavenly performance in its own fluid and graceful waves.

Beautiful things like this set me wondering how can anyone not believe in Heaven and a Creator of beauty and order? How can anyone not give thanks that the world is not just black and white (ok and perhaps green for photosynthesis), with the bare minimum of air, food and water for life to survive; since by the law of conservation, whatever additional energy spent in beauty and glory, may be considered wasted and should be channelled into selective advantage for the survival of the fittest? Sometimes i think it takes alot more faith to be an aethist, than to be a believer. Because an aethist believe that everything happen over time, by chance and elimination, and then the whole world just turns out the way it is today, with so much order and beauty to behold. It's as if parts of an engine and metal pieces just fell from the sky, and miraculously a pretty, functional automobile was assembled by sheer luck! I find it easier to believe that there is an intelligent Designer and Creator behind every complex living thing, and every marvellous feat of nature; just as there is an intelligent designer and engineer behind every working machinery on the road.

As a biology student, i was always amazed at how complex a little cell--the most basic unit of life--can be. Even till today, scientists have not since stop discovering new structures, patterns and order in the cell, causing it to be so dynamic and potent, that just one cell is needed to give rise to a whole complex organism with multiple systems, organs, and tissues, all working together to sustain life and living instincts.

Recently, scientists have celebrated the breakthrough of creating the "first synthetic cell". It took 25 top scientists, $40 million (US), over 5 years, and a heavy dependence of super computers to assemble sequences from an already known genome, to finally create a bacterial cell, which is much, much simpler than an animal or plant cell. How much more intelligence is needed to create cells that programme themselves to grow, divide, adhere, localise, differentiate, self-defend, and even die? From scatch? To get multicellular organisms, some as big as the whale, and some as powerful as the lion, and some as graceful as the gazelles? Could these have all happened by chance?

A dividing cell showing the orderly splitting of chromatids (highly compacted chromosomes carrying the genetic material needed for each cell to run itself)--from Cell Imaging Facebook.



Yesterday, my friend showed us the ultrasound photographs of her baby in her womb. We were all so fascinated to see the child so clearly, even at the completion of the 1st trimester. We can see the head, the eyes, the ears and a little arm at its side. It is as great a miracle to me, as the sunset, and of even deeper and dearer meaning too, albeit this time, it's taking place in the little, warm, dark corner called the womb. My faith arose as I rejoice and pray for the little child, because I know God who has formed him in his mother's womb, must love him so, and have great plans for him.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

I believe that every law observable in nature has a Law-Maker. I believe that every order that keeps the world going, despite all the pain, suffering and disasters, have an Order-Setter. And I believe that every beautiful miracle lavished upon us comes from a Mighty Creator who has set His heart out to delight us, amaze us, make us sigh, inspire us to dream, and pursue us till the day we recognise the eternity He has set in our hearts.

What does love look like?

Kapoked from Lightphoria :-P

Here's a song that gave me a glimpse into a different kind of love when I was a teenager.

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I believe there is a love that waits and never gives up. A love that even death cannot tear apart. A love made possible by the everlasting God, Who is Himself, Love. A love that He has placed within the capacity of every human heart, that is sure, steadfast, sacrificial and unconditional. But unless we know that we have been loved by such a love, can we give it to another.

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Lord, show me Your love, and teach me to love Your way--surely, steadfastly and unfailingly.

What does God look like to you?

I came across this little poem in a little shop. It makes me smile in its simple, yet profound way and may it make you smile too :-)

One day in my thoughts,

I walk with you hand in hand,

You said there are things that you just didn't understand

How high is the sky...what makes it so blue --

And you said to me what does God look like to you?

And I said,

"He looks like a rainbow just after the rain

He is as golden as a wick dancing over the flame
He looks like a star when the night's crystal clear

He looks like a baby when mother is near

His face is like the moonlight reflected on snow
His hair is like a garden where all flowers grow
His heavenly eyes are as calm as the sea

You see, that's what God really looks like to me.

His heart is like a mountain so vast and so strong,

That's why all His children have room to belong.

His smile is the morning you are awakened to see --

And most of all, friends like you

are what God looks like to me."

I've often wondered what would it be like to see Jesus face to face in heaven. When we sing "Beautiful Saviour", I wonder if I can ever catch my breath while beholding the beauty of the Creator of the universe. Yet, this child-like poem help me to realise that Jesus has been revealing His beauty to me in daily little things that lift up my soul and make my heart sing. Sometimes, beauty doesn't have to come in grandiose and breathtaking ways, it may grow and blossom right in our daily paths, like the wild flowers swaying cheerfully in the breeze, waiting quietly for us to stop, notice and gaze in delight.

Thank you Lord for your gentle and humble ways with us. May we open our eyes to see and our hearts to rejoice in your wondrous gifts.

Power Promised

Picture of a rainbow taken by my old friend in 2006. It was a year of heartbreak for us, and I was just telling her, "Trust God, His rainbow will come soon." Yes indeed, it came, God's promises never fade.

How can I have child-like faith and wonder, even as I struggle daily in the harsh ungracious urban rush? How can I learn to love and pray unceasingly, even as I strive to survive among the pressing anxious neurotic work spaces?

It is easy to relax and worship in abandonment, in a garden or on a holiday, where there's peace, nature, and new adventures to be anticipated at every turn. It is easy to delight in the beautiful handiwork of God when you see the joyous glow in a child's face or immerse yourself in the stories of faraway kingdoms, heartwarming anecdotes, and worlds with heroes and heroines.

But the real test comes, when I leave the library and step into my office to face my displeased boss. When somebody needs to do what everyone doesn't want to do. When after trying for the third time, I have nothing but failure and mistakes to show. When after helping a discouraged friend get back on her feet, she took over my work as well. When the reward of doing something good, is to do something harder. When the news got worse and worse, even after I prayed and prayed. When I can't bring myself to get up in time every morning, even after trying for two and a half years. Can I still lift up my head; bless and praise my Lord; rejoice always; pray continually; and give thanks in all circumstances?

My mentor in Uni used to message me "Not easy, but nothing is impossible with God". And hope would arise in me. As I walked on in faith, I realised the power of turning my eyes upon Jesus, of pondering on His grace and mercy shown on the cross, how it can make the troubles and things of this earth grow dim in comparison. And recently, I have learnt more and more to put my trust and hope in God's promises, of Heaven, of His Spirit, of His joy and authorship of my life.

I've read that it is impossible to live the Christian life without the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. But I never realised the importance of this statement, until 6 years into being a Christian. Reflecting on those times that I fell to my knees, and cried out in desperation; I would realise that I was running on my own resources and thus was soon running on empty. I used to think, Christians must have things real easy and simple in life. With everything explained for them in black and white, and God always by their side. But as I continue to struggle to finish the bible, I realised how much discipline it takes to complete the bible and acquire basic understanding. And how hard I need to wrestle with God's truth as it show me so much of myself and the world, that I would rather not see, so that I don't have to change. To be humbled, to be emptied of self, to be surrenderred to constant moulding, to dare to love even when it hurts, or worse, seems to drain you out. Impossible without the power of His Holy Spirit, yet all possible and gladly willing by His Spirit indwelling our souls!

And because God has promised to clothe us with power from on high, may we be confident that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion by the day of Christ Jesus. May we see His rainbow, even through the darkest, thickest clouds!

Life is brief but never fragile

Picture taken @ HortPark by colleague. Love the beauty of balance in a dragonfly and its readiness to take life, however brief, in full zest!

I'm used to saying the phrase "Life is so fragile", especially upon receiving the news of someone's demise. It sounds resigned yet poetic and profound. To me, it's a reminder to cherish every life and live every moment with my loved ones, to the fullest.

However, recently, a little book presented by my friend and mentor in church, challenged my thinking. It has a section called "Aliveness" and it says:--

"There is a difference between impermanence and fragility. Life can change abruptly and end without warning, but life is not fragile."

"There is a tenacity toward life present in every cell without which even the most sophisticated of medical interventions would not succeed."

"Joy is far less fragile than happiness. Joy seems to come from an unconditional wish to live, the willingness to accept life whole and show up to make the most of whatever is there. It has a kind of invincibility that attachment to any particular outcome would deny us."

--From 'The Little Book of Kitchen Table Wisdom' by Rachel Naomi Remen

Suddenly, I realised that there is more to life than the physical well-being of a person. Life is more than exisiting on earth, it is about being alive and present--body, heart, soul, and mind; more than the capacity to live well, but the will to live on and make the most of what you have; more than the possession of your faculties and strength, but the zeal to use them to enjoy every experience; more than knowing you have today and tomorrow, but the purposeful living to bless others with what you've been blessed with.

If life is less dependent on our physical qualities, but more centered on our spiritual substance, then indeed life can be the strongest when it is most hit by physical ailments and handicaps. Because it is through the weak and broken vessels that contain life, that the treasure from within shine through. It is when we see how someone can abandon the human self/ expectations/ preferences, to embrace life in the midst of suffering, pain and loss, that we realise how strong life can be, and how hard it is to kill its hope, when it has fully blossomed.

And it is a beautiful reminder to me, that life is more than there is on this earth--a far greater glory awaits at the end of the road, a glory that is of no end. Yet, like most precious things, this glory is invisible to human sight, and can only been glimpsed through eyes of faith.

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love Him"

1 Corinthians 2:9b

And the last book of my favourite series of chronicles has put this beautiful promise in a more understandable way:--

"And for us this is the end of all stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before." --The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis

As we begin 2010 with the Author and Perfector of our faith, our life stories, may we set our hearts and minds homeward, on things above, and live His good and perfect will on earth, as it is in heaven. For He shall be our strength and song!