There are 2 sides to everything

I love sitting on beautiful, warm Turkish carpets. It feels so cosy and safe. Recently, at a gathering, the host drew our attention to the hidden beauty of his Turkish carpet--it was actually stitched in such a way that the underside shows the exact same pattern as the front. It must have been the work of a master carpet weaver!

I also tried a bit of sewing recently. Haha, it was an idea borrowed from a very creative colleague of mine. She sew her name onto her labcoat and added little buttons for the circular letters. One day, I decided to try to emulate, using the little supply of thread and buttons I can scavenge from my long neglected sewing box. Ta Daa!!! With my limited sewing skills, I managed to come up with something that look quite neat (to me).

However when I turn over the pocket, I got quite disgusted by the loose threads, crooked stitches, and ugly knots. I am no naturally talented seamstress afterall.

Actually the sewing reminds me of my own life too. Oftentimes, by my conscientious effort, I can make myself look quite "neat" and presentable to others. I can keep smiling. I can show up and contribute proactively. I can give the right answers and try to sound confident. But would it be a true reflection of who I really am inside? Would anyone realise how much struggle it takes to put on that bright smile even when things are not going well? How inadequate I can actually feel at work or in church, and how many times I needed to cry out to God to help me understand things?

There are always 2 sides to everything, the positive and the negative, the seen and the unseen, the probable and the possible. Even as we try to stay on the bright side, sometimes, we need to acknowledge the darker side too. Perhaps the greater treasure may actually be found in the dark side. Because courage is not about appearing unafraid, but about facing fear, and not backing down. Joy is not about a sorrow-free heart, but the ability to look beyond the present disappointments and see hope in the future. And faith is not having no doubt, but in choosing to trust in God's promises despite many unanswered questions churning in the distressed soul.

When we see a beautiful person, full of compassion and wisdom, do we ever wonder the humbling and refining it takes to cultivate this tender heart and perceptive soul? When we see a lovely relationship, full of submission and tenderness, do we wonder how much sacrifices and forgiveness the couple has poured into each other? Oftentimes, true sweetness can only be tasted after the fruit has been crushed and strained. Can there be beauty without pain? Can peace come without a struggle? Can love blossom without the dying of self?

Yet I believe God is the Divine Repairer of our lives. Even in the midst of broken dreams and failures, He can bring something beautiful out of our lives, if we would surrender the broken pieces to Him. And He is the Master Weaver too, one day, He will turn over the carpet of our lives and show us how every black thread was woven in, so that the bright ones can shine even brighter. And I'm sure, it will be a masterpiece, far better than any imitations I can ever come up with.

If there ever were dreams
That were lofty and noble
They were my dreams at the start
And the hopes for life's best
Were hopes that I harboured
Down deep in my heart

But my dreams turned to ashes
My castles all crumbles
My fortune turned to loss
So I wrapped it all in the rags of my life
And laid it at the cross

Something beautiful, something good;
All my confusion He understood.
All I had to offer Him
Was brokenness and strife,
But He made something beautiful of my life.