Power Promised

Picture of a rainbow taken by my old friend in 2006. It was a year of heartbreak for us, and I was just telling her, "Trust God, His rainbow will come soon." Yes indeed, it came, God's promises never fade.

How can I have child-like faith and wonder, even as I struggle daily in the harsh ungracious urban rush? How can I learn to love and pray unceasingly, even as I strive to survive among the pressing anxious neurotic work spaces?

It is easy to relax and worship in abandonment, in a garden or on a holiday, where there's peace, nature, and new adventures to be anticipated at every turn. It is easy to delight in the beautiful handiwork of God when you see the joyous glow in a child's face or immerse yourself in the stories of faraway kingdoms, heartwarming anecdotes, and worlds with heroes and heroines.

But the real test comes, when I leave the library and step into my office to face my displeased boss. When somebody needs to do what everyone doesn't want to do. When after trying for the third time, I have nothing but failure and mistakes to show. When after helping a discouraged friend get back on her feet, she took over my work as well. When the reward of doing something good, is to do something harder. When the news got worse and worse, even after I prayed and prayed. When I can't bring myself to get up in time every morning, even after trying for two and a half years. Can I still lift up my head; bless and praise my Lord; rejoice always; pray continually; and give thanks in all circumstances?

My mentor in Uni used to message me "Not easy, but nothing is impossible with God". And hope would arise in me. As I walked on in faith, I realised the power of turning my eyes upon Jesus, of pondering on His grace and mercy shown on the cross, how it can make the troubles and things of this earth grow dim in comparison. And recently, I have learnt more and more to put my trust and hope in God's promises, of Heaven, of His Spirit, of His joy and authorship of my life.

I've read that it is impossible to live the Christian life without the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. But I never realised the importance of this statement, until 6 years into being a Christian. Reflecting on those times that I fell to my knees, and cried out in desperation; I would realise that I was running on my own resources and thus was soon running on empty. I used to think, Christians must have things real easy and simple in life. With everything explained for them in black and white, and God always by their side. But as I continue to struggle to finish the bible, I realised how much discipline it takes to complete the bible and acquire basic understanding. And how hard I need to wrestle with God's truth as it show me so much of myself and the world, that I would rather not see, so that I don't have to change. To be humbled, to be emptied of self, to be surrenderred to constant moulding, to dare to love even when it hurts, or worse, seems to drain you out. Impossible without the power of His Holy Spirit, yet all possible and gladly willing by His Spirit indwelling our souls!

And because God has promised to clothe us with power from on high, may we be confident that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion by the day of Christ Jesus. May we see His rainbow, even through the darkest, thickest clouds!

Life is brief but never fragile

Picture taken @ HortPark by colleague. Love the beauty of balance in a dragonfly and its readiness to take life, however brief, in full zest!

I'm used to saying the phrase "Life is so fragile", especially upon receiving the news of someone's demise. It sounds resigned yet poetic and profound. To me, it's a reminder to cherish every life and live every moment with my loved ones, to the fullest.

However, recently, a little book presented by my friend and mentor in church, challenged my thinking. It has a section called "Aliveness" and it says:--

"There is a difference between impermanence and fragility. Life can change abruptly and end without warning, but life is not fragile."

"There is a tenacity toward life present in every cell without which even the most sophisticated of medical interventions would not succeed."

"Joy is far less fragile than happiness. Joy seems to come from an unconditional wish to live, the willingness to accept life whole and show up to make the most of whatever is there. It has a kind of invincibility that attachment to any particular outcome would deny us."

--From 'The Little Book of Kitchen Table Wisdom' by Rachel Naomi Remen

Suddenly, I realised that there is more to life than the physical well-being of a person. Life is more than exisiting on earth, it is about being alive and present--body, heart, soul, and mind; more than the capacity to live well, but the will to live on and make the most of what you have; more than the possession of your faculties and strength, but the zeal to use them to enjoy every experience; more than knowing you have today and tomorrow, but the purposeful living to bless others with what you've been blessed with.

If life is less dependent on our physical qualities, but more centered on our spiritual substance, then indeed life can be the strongest when it is most hit by physical ailments and handicaps. Because it is through the weak and broken vessels that contain life, that the treasure from within shine through. It is when we see how someone can abandon the human self/ expectations/ preferences, to embrace life in the midst of suffering, pain and loss, that we realise how strong life can be, and how hard it is to kill its hope, when it has fully blossomed.

And it is a beautiful reminder to me, that life is more than there is on this earth--a far greater glory awaits at the end of the road, a glory that is of no end. Yet, like most precious things, this glory is invisible to human sight, and can only been glimpsed through eyes of faith.

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love Him"

1 Corinthians 2:9b

And the last book of my favourite series of chronicles has put this beautiful promise in a more understandable way:--

"And for us this is the end of all stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before." --The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis

As we begin 2010 with the Author and Perfector of our faith, our life stories, may we set our hearts and minds homeward, on things above, and live His good and perfect will on earth, as it is in heaven. For He shall be our strength and song!

The Greatest Adventure is to Love

Recently, I watched a movie I really liked. It surprises me that an animation can be like the bible--shallow enough for a child to wade in, yet deep enough for the contemplative adults to dive into, and find many precious treasures for life.

'Up' is a simple story that keeps surprising me with the turn of events, and the change of hearts. The innocent love for adventure bridged the lives of two enthusiastic children and brought them into a lasting romance, amidst life's ups and downs. Even though the couple was eventually separated by death, the old man continued to cling on to everything that symbolises the enduring love and deep affection he once had with his dear wife and best friend. These included the quaint little house filled with her photos and many precious keepsakes left over from the life they shared, his wife's journal with empty pages awaiting to be filled with adventures yet realised since their childhood vow to explore and build a castle in the wilderness of South America together.

This reminds me of how much marks and prints we can leave in the homes and lives of the people we have loved and lived with, and vice versa. Often these come in little objects, habits, simple phrases, echoes of laughter and speech, memories intricately tied to and drawn upon by everyday encounters... What a difference relationships and friendships can really make to one's life, how they can enrich a moment, brighten a day, sweeten a season, and fill up a soul.

I remembered the parting with a close friend and room-mate in university. Agnes has become a very important part of my life, a big sister (spiritually and emotionally) that I can turn to when life seems to hit a dead-end, a friend that I can confide and laugh and cry with, a sparkle of hope and joy to focus on when life gets monotonous and dry. On the last day of our sharing of the hostel room, she bid her farewell with her typical warm hug, I fought back my tears, and tried to return the cheer. When she finally disappeared, the once cosy and homely room, suddenly felt so empty, the silence, so pressing, that I had to quickly switch on the radio, call someone and arrange a meeting to stop feeling so lonely.

Yet loneliness has become a good teacher to me over the years, it shows me what really matters and helps me to appreciate the people God has given me whether for a longer term, a season, or even just a short while. This is especially so when i start to feel irritated by the noisy slippers of my Papa, my mother's repeated reminders or the little requests from my little sister. Before i start to frown at them, i realise how fortunate i am to be able to hear them now, to have them right here with me, and before i can complain, thankfulness and the sense of urgency grip my soul, and i quickly respond in love and prayer, lest this moment of togetherness passes yet too quickly, and the day comes when i'll miss those slippers, reminders and little requests so very much.

Yet besides the theme of the bond of love and remembrance, another theme of this movie is about letting go and moving on with new strength and courage to love and embrace a new adventure. The human soul is never made to stagnate or be wrapped up in the past, no matter how good it has been and still feels now. It is about forgetting what is behind and moving forward to a new chapter and season; to experience, to learn, and to grow; to receive and to give; to love and to be loved. Because we know God is always good, He is always doing something new in our lives, and He loves us, as if there's only one of us to love. He desires the best for us in His divine perspective, His greater plan. So we can have hope that does not disappoint, for in our hearts, His Spirit tells us, we can trust Him and He will never forsake or forget us.

In the movie, at the crucial moment, the old man finally turned the "last filled page" of the journal, and discovered the pages his wife has lovingly filled in without his knowledge. Pages filled with pictures of their happy moments, the joy of growing old together, the delight of being there for each other, the depth of knowing they will always be close to each other in their hearts and souls and minds....and the last wish she had for him "Thank you for the adventure, now go have a new one!" He was finally released to live, and love, and seek, and fight, for the living and the hope, again. And this time, the new adventure for him, as the movie has it, comes in the form of yet another little child, in need of a father who is present, whom he can look to and look up to, and who loves him.

My mentor once illustrated to me the truth about life's changing seasons and the importance of keeping open palms. God may give us something or someone to love and to enjoy for a season, and there will come a time for Him to take it away, not to grieve us--though it usually will, but to help us move on. If we can learn to trust His father's heart and faithfulness, we will hold the precious gift in open arms, so that He can gently take it away and replace it with another gift. If we try to clench our hand into a tight fist or hold the gift in a hard grip, He would have to ply open those fingers one by one, not only would we make the whole process even more painful, we might also damage the gift or the beautiful memories it has left. It would also take us longer and harder to discover and appreciate the new gift coming in its place.

He gives and He takes away. Blessed be His name, for He knows the best and has already given His Very Best to us, forever.

Take time to breathe, to rest and to be

Why are so many Christians burning out? Is it because we don't get to laze at home on Sundays, and we often spend our Saturdays catching up with all the commitments we can't leave till Sunday? Or is it because we know our Boss in Heaven is watching us 24/7 and we feel guilty even just to stop and catch our breath?

Well, when God created the heaven and the earth, He worked for 6 days and rested on the 7th day. Even though He is the One who does not weary or slumber, He has set us an example to step back and rest and enjoy the work of our hands. Perhaps, it is not the frantic rushing in life that is the essence of living, but those special breaks--where we can slow down, step back, reflect on what we have got to do with God, treasure all that He has given us and brought us through, and give thanks for the magical moments of experiencing His beauty and grace in our lives--that are the true reward of living life to the fullest.

We should never skip our little breaks in life! These are the times we can catch a glimpse of the meaning and beauty of it all, a sense of the eternity God has planted in our hearts, a grip on the hope that He will make all things beautiful in His time. This are our true "star" moments, where we get to see our Eternal Father and Almighty Creator in our lives and know that He will bring us to where He wants us to be--our destiny in Christ. These are what that make all our busyness and toil, worthwhile, and bearable.

I have always wanted to know the very purpose God has for my life. But recently, on a little spiritual retreat with my church mates and pastor Andrew and Diana... I come to realise that before I can find the purpose of my life, I need to know and fully KNOW my identity as a child of God, a beloved of Jesus, a princess by His grace. Without a firm grip of this identity, all that I can try to do for God, is but an empty shell, void of true substance, power or sustainability. Only when I learn to see myself as He sees me, can I follow Christ and serve alongside Him with confidence and joy.

True worship can only come from a heart overflowing with love and joy in the Spirit and the Truth. True service is the overflow of a grateful heart that has realised it is more blessed to give than to receive. True healing comes, when we realise the Healer has healed us with His own wounds, so tenderly and completely, that even our scars, are beautiful in His eyes.

Lord, breathe on me, fill me and help me to be all that You've made me to be.

Treasures in the Night

Hidden blessings awaited me,

My heart did crave to find,

Not treasures held in human hands,

These were a special kind.

I searched when sun was high and bright,

But they eluded me;

I climbed up to the mountaintop,

Searched down in low valley.

But as the sun was sinking low,

With darkness drawing nigh,

I felt my heart sink in despair

And I began to sigh..

What could I find as darkness fell?

'Twas difficult to see;

But God said, "Lift your eyes, My child,

Take My hand ~ walk with Me."

The blackened sky up overhead

Was oh so clear and bright,

And there God revealed His treasures

In absence of the light.

Diamonds bejeweled the velvet sky

Concealed by bright sunlight;

God said, "These are special blessings

Revealed in dark of night."

"Faith sparkles brightest when all light

Is dimmed from human eye ~

When your heart is filled with questions

Of Who? What? When? and Why?"

"There are jewels in the darkness

For those who walk with Me;

Faith's rich treasures," said the Father

"That'll last eternally."

Written by Linda J. Stevenson

"I will give you the treasure of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name." ( Is. 45:3).

How I wish I was a Superhero

Have you ever felt like being like Superman or Spiderman--with a secret identity through which you can be all that your heart yearns to be as a child--a hero, a warrior for justice and peace, a symbol of noble power and sacrifice, a banner of hope and a future for mankind? Yet without the burden to be all that 24/7, you can whoosh through the air and bash baddies in the night, and wake up in the morning rush and disappear into the crowd of anonymity.

Yes, you can attempt all those great things and be the hero (or heroine) of your dreams. Live like there is no tight schedule, squashed bus rides, peak hour surcharges and ERP. Yet, you can still falter and stumble, wind down and be a normal human being. Your true worth remains intact behind the mask. Or at least you know there's something heroic and essential to the world dwelling right within you, even when your bosses shake their heads in disapproval in the day.

But we are not meant to live life in compartments. And often, the reward for doing something good, is to be given something good and harder to do. And interesting enough, the more you want to be just and fair, the more you are brought face to face with your own flaws, weaknesses and poor judgement.

I glad I'm not a superhero, and I do have a Superhero. He has come to save us from our selves and to find our true selves back. By the grace of God, I am who I am. I can attempt great things for God, and what a joy it is to know, that I can fail... In Christ, I have room for mistakes, because, unlike the world, its Conqueror sees the heart, not just the results.

And I am glad that 'the Lord isn’t looking for superheroes. He uses those of us who are flawed and frail, so that He can show His strength and grace. He wants those with a willing and available heart.' (http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2008/11/08/devotion.aspx)

Thank You Lord for accepting me for who I am, and working in me to fulfill the wonderful destiny of becoming like Christ one day--complete and lacking in nothing.

Food for Reflection, Truth for Conviction

"Now Christ is the visible expression of the invisible God. He was born before creation began, for it was through him that everything was made, whether heavenly or earthly, seen or unseen. Through him, and for him, also, were created power and dominion, ownership and authority. In fact, all things were created through, and for, him. He is both the first principle and the upholding principle of the whole scheme of creation." (Colossians 1:15-17, Phillips)

Most of us labour under the delusion that we have every right to our lives; that we have the right to go where we wish, do as we please, live as we choose, and decide our own destiny. We do not. We belong to God. He made us for Himself. He chose us in Christ out of love, from before the foundation of the earth to be His own. He has bought us twice over, both through His generous death and also by His amazing resurrection life.

Every faculty I possess in my body, mind, emotions, will, disposition, and spirit has been entrusted to me as a gift, bestowed by the bounty of a generous, gracious, self-giving, self-sharing God in Christ. There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man or woman. To assert this is colossal conceit of the first magnitude. It is an affront to the living Lord who alone has a rightful claim on me.

Even the total earth environment, the biota, of which I am a part, and which sustains me during my brief earth sojourn is God's doing. Only at His pleasure is it maintained in perfect balance and poise. It provides the precise support mechanisms which insure my survival upon this sphere in space.

(Source: A Shepherd Looks at the Good Shepherd, by Phillip Keller)

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

C.S. Lewis